After 40 weeks of praying and planning for this little boy, Brighton Asher Pauley made his arrival on Saturday, August 8th, 2015 at 10:24AM, measuring 21″ long and weighing 7 lbs 14 ounces! To say we are smitten would be a tremendous understatement. We are so very in love with this little guy, the past three weeks have been an incredible whirlwind, at times I cannot believe he is already three weeks old and others I feel as if he’s been with us so much longer.
Being his mom is an immense blessing, the most rewarding job I’ve ever had; yet humbling and at times overwhelming. Still, I love every minute of it, and I fear that as the days rush by, I’m missing things, forgetting to make note of something important, or capture the perfect expression on his little face. And yet, Josh has reminded me to make sure I live in the moment and enjoy every second, and let capturing the picture or recording the memory come second. In truth, filling out his baby book might be the most overwhelming task thus far. I want to fill it out perfectly, elegantly documenting each and every milestone, but already I’m behind. And truthfully, that’s okay. The fingers and toes have been stamped and pictures will be printed in due time, along with the record of each and every first. For now, I need to just enjoy these precious days with my son. “My son”, a phrase I’ll never tire of saying, understanding a little more each time, that I am a Mommy. Such joy.
For those of you who enjoy hearing birthing stories, continue reading all the details below! If birth stories are not your thing, feel free to delete this email and stay tuned for more healthy recipes ahead. This detailed account is as much for me as it is for you, if not more, as it provides a space to record and remember it in full detail.
It’s fascinating to me how each and every birth story is different from the next. And while we went through a birthing class, drafted our birth plan, and did what we felt we could to best plan for the birth of our son, there is little you can do to really prepare for giving birth.
My due date was Friday, August 7th. I woke up early that morning about 2:30AM feeling very crampy, for lack of better words. Before too long I drifted back to sleep only to wake up at 3:30AM with stronger cramping, then again at 4AM, and by 4:30AM I noticed these cramps were coming about every 15 minutes. At that point I realized these were contractions. Excited for what I hoped the day ahead would bring, I was up by 6AM, and by 7AM, we started tracking them and found they were approximately every 7 minutes.
Josh went ahead and let his work know he would not be in that day and within a few hours we shared with our families and doula that I was having contractions. I showered and fixed my hair and make-up, knowing that labor was sure to destroy any effort I had put into looking nice, but I wanted to feel good all the same – I would soon be meeting my son! We went about our day, running a few errands for some groceries and other misc items we needed, hoping that the exercise of walking around would help the process along. I also spent some time reading back through my notes from our birth class to help refresh myself with what to expect through the various stages of labor and to focus on some of the breath prayers I wanted to use throughout labor. The contractions continued to get stronger, enough that I was using different techniques to help cope and breathe through them, but as the day went, it seemed they never got much closer than 5 minutes apart.
Our doula encouraged us to not track the contractions obsessively, but to time them for an hour to see how close they were, then try to relax and not focus on them too much. Our hope and goal was to have a completely natural birth, with the help of the Vanderbilt Midwives and our doula. With this goal in mind, we knew it was vital that we didn’t go to the hospital too early. So we continued to track the contractions periodically, a bit disappointed each time when they didn’t seem to be closer than five minutes each time.
By about 7PM that evening, we went ahead and let some of our close friends and extended family know that we were in labor, but staying home as long as possible. In hind site, I wish I would have rested more early Friday morning when the contractions were not as strong. As the evening came about, I was quite tired, but unable to rest/sleep and getting more and more uncomfortable. Our doula and the midwife on call each checked on us to see how things were progressing and both felt like I was certainly in real labor, but that we really needed my contractions to get closer to 2-3 minutes apart before going to the hospital.
I filled up our tub three different times through the evening and night, in hopes of the hot water relieving some of the pain and brining about a bit of rest. By about 1Am, we went ahead and asked our doula to come to the house. I was quite discouraged to have had contractions going for so long, to be as strong as they were, and yet to not have them any closer together. Sometime in the early evening, the contractions started feeling really strong in my lower back as well, which only made me more uncomfortable. Thanks to Josh’s mom’s suggestion, Josh used a rolling-pin to massage my lower back and hips through these contractions. This relieved a little of the paint, but still, I was going on 20 hours or more of this and starting to wonder how I would have the stamina to last if things didn’t start progressing quicker.
Our doula arrived sometime between 2 and 3AM; she put me on our exercise ball and to do some pelvic exercises in an effort to shift the baby, hoping that a change in his position might speed things along. I was so thankful to have her join us, having two of her own and helping with over 50 births, it was a huge blessing to have someone who understood better what stage of labor I was likely in and what I could expect ahead. Still, by about 3:30-4AM, I was quite exhausted and felt like we needed to go to the hospital, I had to know what my progression was and didn’t know how to keep going, without being able to sleep or rest.
Josh had already loaded all of our bags and the car seat had been installed for a few weeks, so we gathered the last of our things and headed to the hospital. I sat in the back, leaning over pillows, to help cope with the contractions that were sure to come during our trip. We arrived at Vanderbilt about 4:30AM, at which point, I proceeded to get sick {throw up} outside of the ER entrance minutes after our arrival. I wasn’t sure if my sickness came from the car ride or if this meant we were in the final stages of labor. As I reviewed my notes from our birthing class earlier that day, I read that women often get sick in the later stages and this was likely a good sign. I found myself slightly hopefully, but was still anxious they would say my body had not progressed enough. If that were the case, I knew I would have to make some hard decisions. Going back home didn’t feel like an option, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted a narcotic to get a few hours of sleep, nor did I want to consider the epidural, still I knew these were the things that would be asked if I wasn’t dilated enough. As we walked through the long corridors of the hospital {I didn’t want a wheelchair}, stopping a few times so I could cope with a contraction, I found myself pleading with the Lord to please rescue me. I was going on 24 hours of contractions and so exhausted.
We reached the midwives, and they immediately got us into triage, where they checked to see how much I had dilated. Please Lord, I pleaded. Once checked, they found I was 7 cm dilated and 90% effaced – praise you , Father! As I write these words, the tears come again, thinking back on the relief I felt and the renewed energy to keep going. I was so thankful, my body had progressed regardless of the time between the contractions. At this point, the contractions were finally closer to 3-4 minutes apart. {Josh says I’ve always had a good pain tolerance and he thinks I wasn’t telling him when the contractions started but rather when they were at their peak. He might be exactly right, in which case, the contractions were actually closer together than we thought!}
We asked if they had a room with a tub available, thankfully they did, and within 10 minutes, we were settled into our room and I was able to get into the tub to continue laboring. I did that for another hour or so, then about 7AM, I moved back to the exercise ball. The 7AM hour also brought about shift changes for the midwives, and the midwife who we met first upon switching our care to the Vanderbilt Midwives, came on – another answered prayer. She is a beautiful woman, full of spunk and more importantly, full of the spirit of the Lord. If given my choice, she was exactly who I wanted to deliver our baby, and I was so relieved to see her. She checked my dilation about 7:30AM, and I was 8.5 cm and 100% effaced. At that point she asked if I’d like her to go ahead and gently snag my bag of water so that each contraction was pushing baby down, rather than first working to pop that bag of water. I agreed, then shared that I felt the urge to push and she gave me the go ahead to push when I felt ready. I ended up laboring and pushing in the shower, on the toilet {sorry for TMI}, then ended up on the bed, which had been converted into a fascinating three level chair, with Josh behind me for support.
Our midwife, doula, and the nurse, were the most incredible team of women, and Josh was the perfect support I needed, both emotionally and physically. Around 8AM, when trying to do a few things to help things move along, I found myself feeling so exhausted, going on 28-29 hours of contractions with little to no rest. I wasn’t sure how to find the strength to keep going, and to get through the most difficult part, pushing our little boy out. The midwife asked if I wanted to consider Nitrous Oxide {laughing gas} to help get over this hurdle. It was the one thing they offered that we were fairly open to as it does not cross the placenta, nor numb my legs/the pain, but rather offered me a bit of a mental break. We went ahead and gave our consent, Josh signed the papers, and within 20 minutes, I was feeling more confident. The gas allowed me to get over the mental battle and slip into a more relaxed state. It was exactly what I needed at this point.
Our team of amazing ladies did several things to help prepare my body and give me as much leverage as possible to help with the pushing. After a couple of hours of enduring the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life, suddenly he was here. I went from using every ounce of strength I had in me and feeling completely exhausted, to having a beautiful, slimy little boy placed directly on my chest, and all at once the world was different. The pain forgotten in that moment. The slight fog from the gas was lifted, and the incredible cry of this baby we had longed for, filled my eyes and ears. Josh was still behind me, and as I laid against him, with out little boy in my arms, it was truly the most glorious event of my life. A love filled my heart that I hadn’t previously known, regardless of how much I already loved him in the womb, and I instantly knew that our lives were forever changed. We were now a family of three and joy encompassed me.
From there everything is a blur, we had a glorious hour of skin to skin time with him, then while they cleaned him up and took all measurements and weight, I was able to clean up as well and before we knew it we were moved to our room where we’d stay for the next two days. Family and friends began to visit and our joy just continued to grow, and has continued to grow each and every day since then.
If you are still reading, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing in this experience with us! I have been so excited to share this post with you and yet it’s taken me over three weeks to get my act together, welcome to motherhood, huh?! :)
Check out several photos below to see a little of my progression through pregnancy, and Brighton’s growth since his arrival!
Picture Above: Three weeks old
